99 Erics by Julia Serano

Author:Julia Serano
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: bisexual, humorous novel, metafiction, feminist humor, absurdist, queer fiction, writer humor, lgbt humor, surreal humor
Publisher: Julia Serano

Chapter 25 – Writing About Sex Is Like Praying About Agnosticism

Once I started my full-time writing job at CliqueClick, it really cut into my progress on my own book. As a result, the time I would set aside for my personal writing suddenly became super-duper precious to me. So when my good friend Kim asked me to write something for her anthology-in-progress, I was somewhat hesitant at first. But she was having a hard time finding potential contributors who could speak to the subject matter at hand. The working title for the anthology was Best Atheist & Agnostic Bisexual Women’s Erotica, which is admittedly a tad overly specific, but Kim is an erotica writer who is fiercely committed to simultaneously challenging both the longstanding biphobia in queer literature and the sexism in the New Atheist movement. She reached out to me knowing that I’m an agnostic bisexual woman. And I agreed to help her out, even though I had no clue what I’d even write about.

Some of you may assume that I must have plenty of sexual adventures and escapades to draw upon for my piece. This assumption probably stems from the fact that I keep referring to myself as “sex-positive.” Because, for some reason, as soon as you describe yourself as sex-positive, people will automatically assume that you’ve had tons of sex in almost every position and configuration imaginable, and/or that you are willing to freely discuss any and all of your sexual exploits at the drop of a hat, and/or that you probably facilitate sex-related workshops and maybe even have your own sex advice column, and/or that you must be one of those performance artists who work in the medium of female ejaculation, and/or that—at a bare minimum—you have a slam poem you occasionally perform about that time when you worked as a stripper for like two and a half weeks.

And I do none of these things. I call myself “sex-positive” simply because I’m against shaming people for their sexual desires and histories, not because I’m constantly having lots and lots of sex. Because I’m not, actually. As you’ve probably gathered by now, most of my dates with Erics have not panned out especially well. As for Matilda, well, we do have sex from time to time, but not nearly as often as we used to. I’m sure some people are immediately going to think “lesbian bed death” here, which is kind of fucked up—after all, I’m bisexual, not lesbian! But on top of that, nearly every single long-term couple experiences a sharp decline in the frequency of sex after their first year together. The phenomenon should simply be called “bed death”—so stop picking on lesbians!

Actually, even “bed death” is too harsh. Like, who decided that not having sex is tantamount to death? I’ll bet it was probably some confused-slut dude-bro who was trying to guilt-trip his girlfriend into having sex with him when she wasn’t interested. Which, suffice it to say, is the least sex-positive thing you could possibly do.

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